If It's Too Loud, You're Too Old

I have a secret. I love really loud, really hard rock music. Okay, so that's not really a secret to my friends who know me well, but to a lot of people who only know me on the outer fringes of my life, this may come as a surprise. After all, I'm a middle-aged mom of three who just became a grandma; I'm supposed to be listening to just about anything but hard rock, or so I've been told.

I first became enamored of hardcore, heavy and loud music because of a t-shirt. That's right; a t-shirt started a 30-year love affair with what my mother referred to as "Godawful racket!" but it's true. I was a nerdy twelve-year-old who listened to whatever songs the pop radio music station played and barely listened to that. Then my totally cool older cousin Todd came to visit from Florida and he had on a Molly Hatchet t-shirt. It was really cool. HE was really cool. (Well, he was 19 and tan with long blond hair who always smelled a bit "herbal" - of course he was cool!)

I silently admired his t-shirt for most of the week he was there, making up all kinds of stories in my head about who this Molly Hatchet was; she had to be cool, I thought, with a last name like Hatchet. Finally, the day before he was to head back home I asked him who she was. After he finished laughing and then apologizing to me for laughing at me, he explained that Molly Hatchet was an awesome band and that I had to listen to them immediately. He gave me a mix tape that had "Flirtin' With Disaster" along with other gems such as "Sweet Leaf" by Black Sabbath, "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin and "Big Ten Inch" by Aerosmith. I listened to the music up in my bedroom and I was hooked.

The first album I bought with my own money was Kiss "Destroyer". I then started exploring the genre of punk (with the direction from a record store clerk who loved punk) and a love affair with Iggy & the Stooges, the Dead Boys, the Ramones and the Sex Pistols ensued. I began to explore even more in depth and found that Henry Rollins was a genius, GG Allin was controversial yet amazing and Glenn Danzig was a master lyricist as well as a super nice guy. (I met him at the Vogue after a show in Indy when I was 15; he kissed my cheek and signed my shirt.)

I still remember exactly what I was doing when I first heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and I looked at the infant Ellie and said "Well, hair metal is dead!" She cooed in agreement. Nirvana changed my direction yet again, and suddenly I was dreaming of moving to Seattle and hanging with Alice in Chains, Screaming Trees and the Pixies. Soundgarden's "Big Dumb Sex" became one of my favorite songs to play to irritate my mother. (Listen to it if you've never heard it; you'll understand what I mean.) I also remember what I was doing when I heard the news about Kurt Cobain's suicide; I had to pull the car over and cry for about a half-hour because of the great talent that had just been so carelessly taken out of this world.

Then just when music started to seem lame and all the radio would play was Matchbox 20 and Fuel over and over, I met a man who captured my music fan heart with his controversial lyrics, his carefully calculated "insanity" and his gorgeous eyes. Marilyn Manson became my newest love; I absolutely was crazy about everything about the band and the man. Every song was amazing; hard, loud and unapologetic, the way real rock and roll should be.

I had never really gotten into rap or hip hop (except for the Beastie Boys amazing "Paul's Boutique") until a certain blond haired, blue eyed beauty of a man from Detroit captured me with his poetry. Yes, I love Eminem too. While I wouldn't play his songs around my kids, after they went to bed I was often in awe of his ability to rhyme in an almost impossible way, his vocal prowess and his content. I still think "Stan" is one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs ever written and I absolutely love him taunting Dr. Dre in "Guilty Conscience" by calling him "Mr. AK, Mr. NWA, Mr. Strait Outta Comptom, y'all better make way!" 

I've been listening to a lot of old favorites lately. I still love to put in Pink Floyd (any Pink Floyd album, doesn't matter which one) and just mellow the afternoon away. The kids still love to twirl around and dance hippie-style to "Estimated Prophet" by the Grateful Dead. And anytime I hear any Red Hot Chili Peppers song, I have to sing along with Anthony Kiedis's beautiful, rich voice. But then I'll get a little tug and will have to pop in Korn's "Wake Up" or anything by Disturbed. Sometimes nothing will do but a hit of Slayer's "Seasons In the Abyss" album to get me pumped up. And I just laugh when people ask me when I'm going to grow out of this "phase". It's thirty years going strong people, and I'm still rockin' hard. But hey; that's rock and roll!